Q: While on a romantic dinner date with my husband, our server, while knowledgeable and friendly, thought it was his place to jump into our private conversation and even pulled up a chair toward the end of our meal. It completely ruined our date. In the future, how can I politely tell the waiter to buzz off?
A: Overly attentive service can be just as annoying as being ignored. I have had this happen to me several times while dining out.
It's incredibly irritating when you are in mid-conversation or your mouth is full of food and the server keeps interrupting by asking, “How does everything taste?”
Or, worst yet, he or she wants to tell you about how bad his or her day has been.
No offense, waiter, but I don't care that you couldn't get Nickelback tickets or that your roommate clogged your toilet again. I'm out at this nice restaurant to try and forget some of the burdens from MY day, not take on yours.
What I tend to do, if the cutting glances don't do the trick, is simply say that this is date night and privacy would be greatly appreciated.
Although, you could go with one of these options:
A) When your overly attentive server approaches, begin talking about something bizarre like cleaning up after a murder. Hopefully, the awkwardness will keep him away.
B) Build a mini fort out of dinner napkins, menus and silverware.
C) Tell him that you don't speak English and just point to things on the menu that you would like to order.
D) After every sentence he says, repeat the exact sentence back to him with a completely serious face.
And I swear there must be a mass shortage of plates in most restaurants. I don't know how many times I will be forking a bite when the server asks, “Are you done with your plate?” To me, it's like them saying that they think you have had enough and should consider backing off. Then it makes you feel like the fat kid when you tell them you are still working.
Another kind of overly attentive service that can ruin your experience is while shopping. I don't know about you, but I don't need someone to help me shop. I do not want anyone suggesting that “red is my color” or telling me that there is a belt that would go perfectly with what I am trying on.
The worst encounter I ever had in a boutique was when I went to buy some black dress pants (typically a quick trip), and the sales woman kept bringing me things to try on. She even had the gall to fling open the curtain and come into my dressing room while I was in mid-change. Not that it really matters, but many other shoppers got an unobstructed view of my backside.
I asked, “What are you doing?” She looked so offended at the question. I told her that I did not need any more of her help and to get out. She may have gotten her commission that afternoon, but I won't ever go back.
So if the saying is correct, then the customer is king. And if I am king, then I want a pleasant experience in exchange for my hard-earned money whether it's in a restaurant, shopping mall, airport or gas station. Is that too much to ask?
Probably.
